Crash is supposed to mint a hero a week — someone who rides a moon and retires the session. This was not that week. Across 103,635 settled bets, the entire player base combined finished $1.88 million down, and not a single account finished up more than $17,393. The grinders ground; the moons went unclaimed; the house vacuumed.
The volume kings all lost
| Player | Bets | Wagered | Week P&L |
|---|---|---|---|
| fuckpajeets | 839 | $2,524,019 | −$343,878 |
| Lewie | 1,788 | $339,904 | −$339,780 |
| MonarchSerbia | 1,020 | $294,254 | −$291,798 |
| pedrojin | 1,370 | $909,885 | −$124,736 |
| DownABagMF | 3,604 | $116,517 | −$115,597 |
| Marwan2006 | 19 | $331,055 | −$79,424 |
fuckpajeets put $2.52 million through crash in 839 bets — nearly half the week's entire handle from one account — and finished it down $344k. Lewie bet 1,788 times and kept $124 of $339,904: a 0.04% return across a whole week. DownABagMF placed the most bets of anyone, 3,604, and lost $116k doing it. Only Marwan2006 played a different game: 19 bets, $331,055 staked, almost all of it ~$49,000 a spin cashed at 1.13x–1.24x. Bet $49,000 to win $11,000, nineteen times, finish −$79,424.
$49,000 staked at 1.24x wins $11,760. Do it nineteen times, finish down $79,424.
The biggest wins still lost money
Here is the week's irony in one table: the six biggest single cashouts, and five of the six accounts still finished the week down — because the wins came wrapped in hundreds of losing bets.
| Bet (UTC) | Player | Staked | Cashed | Net |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sept 30 19:08 | Marwan2006 | $49,000 | 1.24x | +$11,760 |
| Sept 30 19:06 | Marwan2006 | $49,000 | 1.23x | +$11,270 |
| Sept 30 19:08 | Marwan2006 | $49,000 | 1.13x | +$10,295 |
| Sept 29 02:41 | fuckpajeets | $7,000 | 8x | +$49,026 |
| Sept 29 02:09 | fuckpajeets | $8,000 | 7x | +$48,026 |
| Sept 29 01:59 | fuckpajeets | $8,000 | 7x | +$48,026 |
fuckpajeets' three 7–8x hits in one night (bets 3459556, 3459043) totalled about +$145,000 — and the week still ended −$343,878. The best weekly account of all, cheekyblah (+$17,393), did it the quiet way: ten bets around $1,000 on September 28, three of them landing at 2.37x–3x, then gone.
The moons went unclaimed (again)
| Round | Bust | Riding | Best cashout |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sept 28 · #1344317 | 101,085x | $16 | 2.06x |
| Sept 29 · #1346430 | 43,497x | $443 | 2.5x ($900) |
| Sept 28 · #1344748 | 12,928x | $22 | 18.15x ($50) |
| Sept 24 · #1330345 | 11,500x | dust | 1.34x |
A 101,085x round — the biggest in our records — had four riders and $16 on it. The best cashout was 2.06x. The 43,497x had $443 riding and paid $900 to its bravest passenger. Four moons over 11,000x in seven days, combined riding money under $500, combined winnings under $1,000. Everyone left before the show, every time.